Issue
Our health and well-being can be majorly influenced by Relationships. They expand beyond our interactions with close intimate partners. It can be a relationship with friends, family members, coaches, or work colleagues. You feel secure, encouraged, and able to openly communicate when you are in healthy relationships. On the other hand, in unhealthy ones, you are more likely to feel hurt, upset, and bad about yourself. There are going to be moments of joy and sadness with any relationship. That is completely natural. However, it might be worth exploring whether this relationship is healthy for you if you are experiencing more negatives than positives.
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Traits
Distinguishing the difference between what is healthy and unhealthy can be difficult when in a relationship. It can be even more challenging to tell the difference when we have never had a healthy relationship before. Indicators of healthy relationships include feeling loved, comfortable about yourself, respected, cared for, being your true self, and having the ability to communicate openly with your partner.
When you are in an unhealthy relationship, you may feel sadness, worthlessness, guilt, anxiety, feeling of being trapped, unable to communicate openly, and not being able to be your true self. Other signs include a lot of ups and downs, for instance, one day feeling fantastic, the next day feeling terrible. A sign of an unhealthy relationship is also any form of abuse, for example, psychological/emotional, physical, sexual, or financial.
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Some things that may help
Even healthy relationships can come to nothing and simply end for a lot of reasons. Some relationships end when they grow apart due to life transitions, when there is a difference in values, or the bond is just not the same anymore. It can be hard to identify any toxicity and even more difficult to set boundaries or leave the relationship when we are in unhealthy relationships. When it comes to exiting intimate relationships, you may experience fear of being alone for the rest of your life or fear of not having a chance to be loved again.
Try to talk about it – If your partner, friend, or family member is open to communicating, talk to them regarding your feelings. They may not be conscious of their behaviors and how it is affecting you. You may be able to find ways to make it work if they are willing to make lasting changes.
In case your partner, friend, or family member is not willing to hear you and if talking to them could possibly put your safety at risk, then you should probably speak to a trusted family member or friend about what you are living through. It is always better to speak to someone who will definitely hear you as opposed to speaking to someone who may be judgmental of your experiences.
You can get non-biased support and an outsider’s perspective when reaching out to someone outside of work. Therapists and counselors can help explore your thoughts and emotions regarding your relationship. You could potentially both attend couples counseling if your partner is open to making changes to your relationship. If it is not the case then there are options for you to attend counseling individually. A therapist can support you in whatever decision you make. They can offer a space that is non-judgmental to explore the impact of your relationship. Therapy can offer to heal while also supporting you in your decision and exploring your options. You do not have to decide instantly if you want to stay or leave the relationship. Only you are aware of what is the best decision for you.
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Try to take care of yourself – Being in unhealthy relationships can be draining and take a lot of energy. It is essential to look after yourself and remind yourself that you are not to blame for another person’s behavior. Create a self-care routine to engage in activities that can help you feel motivated. Self-care can be a combination of solo activities such as listening to music, taking a bath, reading, or joint activities with those whom you have healthy relationships with, such activities can be going for a walk or grabbing a coffee with a friend.
Try to build your support network – it is important to have a range of support around you regardless of whether you decide to stay in or leave your relationship. These can range from self-support such as setting time aside for yourself, and self-care, to family, friends, and professional support.
Write down your thought and experiences – Sometimes we feel that we can process our thoughts and help ourselves to feel better if we think about our thoughts enough. however, it rarely happens and often, it is more helpful to get our feelings out of our heads and bodies. By writing, you can explore your thoughts, experiences, and feelings possibly more voluntarily compared to when you talk to others. There is no right or wrong way to journal, it is your personal experience. Your logbook is just for you and no one else. Typically, a pen and paper work best, but if typing is more comfortable for you, then do it so. Your journaling experience can be more soothing with perhaps a relaxed environment, your favored music, or a candle. If the thought of journaling is daunting, there are other ways to express your feelings e.g., through art, music, and movement. Draw in on your strengths and interests.
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